The 3 Mindset Shifts That Helped Me Stop Chasing Happiness and Start Creating It

I thought I had it all figured out.

I was climbing the corporate ladder, had just landed a new leadership role, and was preparing to relocate from Atlanta to Kansas City. My two oldest kids were nearly through college, and the two still at home were more independent than ever. Life was finally slowing down - and yet, I felt lost.

With fewer distractions pulling at me, I realized something hard: I had spent so much of my life chasing happiness through titles, achievements, and busyness that I’d never stopped to ask if any of it truly fulfilled me.

What came next was a complete mindset reset. And in that journey, I uncovered 3 mindset shifts that changed my life - and can shift yours too.

1. From People-Pleasing to Purpose-Driven

I used to say yes to everyone (my boss, my team, my family, my church) because I thought being “available” made me valuable. I answered calls on my day off, skipped rest to prove loyalty, and pushed my own needs aside without hesitation. My schedule said “important,” but my soul said “exhausted

But when I finally had space to slow down, I realized I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. I didn’t like being busy for the sake of it. I was always on the go… but going nowhere.

Now? I’ve set boundaries between work and life. I protect my peace. I listen to my own voice before the opinions of others. And that has made all the difference.

2. From External Validation to Internal Fulfillment

For years, I relied on applause to tell me how well I was doing. After every presentation, I’d rush to check comments and messages - desperate for validation. If the compliments didn’t come fast enough, I’d spiral, even when I knew deep down I had done well.

Eventually, I realized I couldn’t keep outsourcing my worth.

Now I celebrate how I feel about my impact, not just how others respond to it. I trust the energy in the room. I walk off the stage fulfilled because I showed up as myself - not for the praise, but for the purpose.

3. From Perfectionism to Progress

Here’s a truth I had to embrace: waiting until it’s perfect is just fear dressed up in fancy clothes.

When I launched my first masterclass and later hosted my 3-day reset challenge, I intentionally gave myself less than three weeks to prepare. I didn’t have all the tech lined up. I wasn’t sure how the pieces would fit. But I committed publicly - and that forced me to move forward.

And you know what? I showed up, it worked out, and I grew.

Every time I choose progress over perfection, I give myself permission to evolve.

Today, I’m Creating Happiness......Not Chasing It

I’m no longer weighed down by what people think. I show up, do my best, and let that be enough. I’ve learned to say no without guilt, and yes with intention.

Most importantly, I’ve created freedom:
freedom from my past,
freedom from expectations,
freedom from beliefs that no longer serve me.

That’s the kind of happiness no title, paycheck, or applause can give.

And it’s available to you too! 

If this story resonated, I invite you to consider setting up time for a FREE Empowerment session: https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/107887